Call your girlfriend...3 ways to feel like a badass sparkly gem

Tribe
Written By MERCEDES KISS

Here are three quick and not-quite-so-quick-but-certainly-effective ways to feel like a badass sparkly gem of a human, all involving the prescription:

"Call your girlfriend."

 

1.  Pick a theme song...and DANCE (preferably with others)

Yes, I'm unapologetically pulling this lesson from Ally McBeal -Season 1, Episode 17- "Theme Of Life", where Ally is ordered by her therapist (played by Tracey Ullman...MUCHAS GRACIAS, casting) to think of a theme song to combat negativity/rage/psychosis spawned by the uncontrollable craziness in her life (e.g., gabby law office with unisex bathrooms and über creepy dancing CGI baby.  She settles on "Tell Him" by The Exciters.  

Finding a song that not only resonates with you, but urges you to go beyond toe-tapping to all out lip-synching/air-guitaring/hair-whipping/twerking (err, maybe not that last one) is the goal.  In my extremely scientific experimentations, the greater inclination to hair-whip = greater endorphin response.  This article by the Huffington Post outlines the whys and hows of dancing's many health benefits (which are amplified if you dance with others...I mean, there is no arguing that everyone on Soul Train feels fan-freaking-tastic).

Here is my shortlist:

 

2.  Listen to empowering content

You don't have to know me well to know that I listen to a lot of podcasts.  A lot.  A hell ton.  Their subject matter varies widely, and I'll likely hit on many shows throughout other posts, but for now I'd like to mention one show that particularly exemplifies smart content being discussed/produced by empowered, aware, and dignified lady bosses.  Hosted by Aminatou Sow and Anne Friedman, and produced by Gina Delvac:

 

3.  Really, call your girlfriend

For a while I thought I was doing something wrong or had malfunctioned in some way.  I thought it was the norm to have a ton of girlfriends, enough such that I would have a hard time imagining how to whittle the selection down to a reasonable number of bridesmaids when that day came.  There should be a life-long friend, like your soulmate since the sandbox, one or two that banded with you through middle-school weirdness, a crew that helped you navigate social strata and stresses of high school, some that also relished the freedom and mischief found at college, and finally a diverse set of fierce, stylish, and wise young women encountered in the throws of young-professionalism.

Well, I've been through all of those steps, and indeed created tremendous bonds along the way.  But for one reason or another (and truly without bridges burnt) most of those friendships have dwindled out of sight, and often -but not always- out of mind.  It's not a situation that leaves me feeling melancholy or remorseful, since the partings weren't of ill will, but rather curiosity in and positive hopes for how their lives have evolved.

I may not have a ton of girlfriends, but the fingers of one hand represent my soulfriends.  I will try to refrain from the fluffiness of how I met each of them at pivotal points, how they are beautiful and unique snowflakes whom I turn to for all manner of questions/emergencies/celebrations, or how they are utterly superlative women that stoke me to aim higher/push further/stand stronger.

It's taken me a while to reach this conclusion, but I think I've arrived: Regarding meaningful friendships in our modern time, physical distance is rather moot, social media likes are rather moot, texting frequency is rather moot.  The points that are not moot are those feelings of reunion, of understanding, of collaboration, of curiosity, and of worth that beat rhythmically in my heart while I'm on call with a girlfriend.

Plus, I have no immediate plans for a wedding, and hence bridesmaids...so I'm going to dance to more Robyn.

 

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MERCEDES KISS
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